FOR WORK & PLAY
Time Out, Excluded
I’m pretty aware and sensitive to the inclusion and exclusion of those within groups. I guess, I’ve had my share of time feeling ‘out,’ or excluded. I always felt like an outsider, misunderstood, or that I didn’t fit in. I guess knowing how it felt to feel excluded, I secretly championed inclusiveness. Or maybe I was just bored.
Time spent Out
Growing up, I often felt like I was wasting my time a lot, especially when going out or hanging out with friends. That sounds horrible, but it’s how I felt. I think often it’s because I was bored. Maybe they weren’t doing anything I wanted to do. Sometimes, it just felt like time was dragging on really slowly, I was so bored. I remember hating it, and beating myself up afterwards for having put myself through it, deeming it a huge waste of my time. I’m not sure why, but I’ve always wanted to be productive. I remember getting annoyed that my family would want to go away on vacation, cause what would I be able to do there to advance my career goals. Continue reading Time Out, for Work, for Play & of the Closet
First Time I Saw You:
I need to preface this by reminding some and informing others of you who may read anything I write, that I normally begin with a Free-Write; free-associating, and exploring thoughts and ideas with little to no filter. I write in a voice that is very detached from feelings sometimes, cause I’m really just exploring objectively and philosophically. Please try not to read my words as anything else.
The First Time I Saw You Saw Me See You See Me
You said, the first time you saw me, “you knew.” What is this that you “knew?” People often say this referring to having known the outcome of something previously. I fear if it’s not something quantifiable, and just based on ‘feeling,’ that it could be wrong. In the context of a relationship, IF a couple didn’t stay together,… what exactly did they think they knew? That they wouldn’t be together? I could be wrong, but I wouldn’t imagine that to be the common case. Does that mean it’s not true? When someone says, they “knew,” is it only true for when it IS, conveniently, true, but otherwise really just not true and based on nothing reliable? Is it then just something someone comes up with to add significance and meaning to something, to make it ‘romantic,’ but in reality, they never “knew” anything at all? Continue reading The First Time I Saw You, You Knew
Sometimes, we have to be “friends” with strangers.
As business people, as actors, or if you need help with something, or sell anything, networking is a skill we all need. In a setting where we can mingle and network we try to connect to people who are strangers. It’s almost like going into an audition, or in any place where you want people to like you, so you’re careful, and self-conscious. Sometimes it could be harder because of the setting. If it’s at a party, it could be loud AND there could be a lot of other people vying for each other’s attention. I try to look at it as an exercise in trying to be as open and comfortable as possible, so I can truly be myself, considering the circumstances. Continue reading Networking, Preparing to Act & Other Strangers With Friends
When we think of ‘Make Believe,’ we normally associate it with childhood, playing ‘make-believe,’ where we pretend to be something, or do something.
‘Make believe’ can be a very powerful tool.
Actors, and those who use the power of ‘belief’ use “make-believe” all the time to ‘become’ something, or to ‘believe’ something about themselves or the world they live in.
But in reality, everyone, in some form, as adults, still play make-believe in their every day lives as a way of coping with life.
Sometimes it’s productive, and sometimes it’s just denial and avoidance; plain ‘ol lying to ourselves. ‘Make believe’ is an important tool for everyone. Continue reading Create Belief
Sometime growing up, I got the idea that in a past life I was a white woman with a white dress and brown hair who jumped off a cliff to her death. How do you remember something like that? I’m sure over time I’ve embellished what I think I remember. It was a cliff into fog, which I imagined had water past it. I think it was also cloudy, overcast, and it was rocky, with some overgrown grass. The wind, blowing my hair. Misty rain. I’m not sure if I saw that in a dream, or saw it in a movie and remembered it as myself. I used to tell people that’s why I’m afraid of heights, when it came to roller coasters, which now I’m not even sure is true. I think it was more that I disliked the feeling in my gut when falling.
I’m not sure what to believe, but I think I believe in everything and anything. I don’t want to rule any possibility out. Life after death as reincarnation or life after death in the afterlife. Continue reading Life After Death Ft. Story Concept for “The Afterdeath”